A guest column by Joe Procopio

RESEARCH TRIANGLE, NC  – I don’t hate Apple. I really don’t. I get that a lot, mostly because I’m constantly looking for a comparable iPhone that isn’t the iPhone. That and my rear-windshield decal of Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes doing something impolite to an iMac.

That joke is almost a decade too late.

But let me put it this way. I keep you posted about iPhones that aren’t iPhones not for any ill-will towards Apple, but because Apple is the innovator. Sure, I could easily write a monthly column detailing in microscopic fanboydom every last little slide and pinch about the iPhone, but where would that leave you?

“iPhones Are Great! Go Buy One!”

“The Internet Makes Our Lives Easier!”

“You Should Be Concerned About Your Privacy Online!”

“Nerds Dress Funny!”

Wait. I did that last one. Twice, I think.

What I’m saying is I’m here to give you the alternative. Let the big boys sell you the iPhone and let the blogs fawn and jailbreak and build little iPhone cities that their iPhones can rule with benevolence. In fact, had Apple sent me one back in 2007, this column would probably be about how you can use your iPhone to can preserves for your family over the holidays. I’m grudgy like that.

As it is, during the weekly technical meeting at one of my startups, everyone is thumbing through their iPhone but me, and in a room full of geeks that make Nimoy look like Shatner, suddenly I’m the dork.

It stings, but it doesn’t. You know?

So it is not with shadenfreude that I report cracks in the iArmor. This does not give me glee. The Roomba gives me glee.

I’m as shocked as you are, and by that I mean I’m not shocked at all,  to report that there are now not one, but two handsets that can go mano-a-mano with the iPhone.

They all have their drawbacks

They have their drawbacks, sure, but they’ll do. And if you don’t want to join the iFlock, or if you think that a battle of words between Apple and AT&T over who is at fault for dropping all the calls makes you think that maybe nobody knows why all the calls are getting dropped.

In November, Verizon launched the Storm 2 and the Droid within a week of one another. While the Storm 2 seemed like a non-story, essentially a little-bit-better version of a handset that seemed like it was on its way to cult classic, the Droid was a huge rollout, with a $100-million “Droid Does” ad campaign.

Slick.

Let’s start with the Storm 2. Conventional wisdom on the Storm was that it was RIM’s shot at the consumer market. It looked and acted like an iPhone, but the touchscreen was clunky and the apps were sparse. The Storm 2 is a lot like the Storm, with some minor variations, and if you’ve already got the Storm, I’d hesitate to upgrade for two reasons:

1) The touchscreen is improved, but if you’re already comfortable with the original, and that was the big hurdle for the Storm in the first place, you’re not going to notice much of a difference. It’s not revolutionary, it’s more like “Oh, that’s how it’s supposed to work.”

2) The same upgrades to the OS and the applications can be downloaded through the desktop manager to your existing Storm, and I would almost caution against this. It’s not seamless, and a lot of apps have to be re-registered and in some cases downloaded again. I ran into Java errors, that kind of thing, not bone-crushing, just annoying.

Mom and Dad would look at that “white screen of whoops” and immediately call someone – RIM support, Best Buy, their General Practitioner. The major upgrades you’ll notice are better web-browsing and, more cute than clever, a more iPhonish navigation, with screens “growing” in and out instead of dissolving.

Eat that, Apple!

See, that’s the kind of thing I have to stop.

However, if you’ve got a standard Blackberry or none at all, and you want a little bit of consumer bell-and-whistle in your corporate life, go for the Storm 2. Here’s why.

I’ve long been fail on the virtual keyboard, from the Windows Mobile Experience (and removing the specter of Microsoft, let me just claim that as an awesome band name), where you had to poke your phone with a stylus like you were trying to kill it very slowly, to the ATM, at some bank branches the recognition and screen have deteriorated so quickly and completely that I actually have to punch in my PIN with my fist, resulting in much operator error and an occasional visit by the security guard.

“Son, I’m as angry as you are about the bailouts and bonuses and such but don’t take it out on the branch.”

Both the Storm 2 and the Droid have maximized the Virtual Keyboard Experience (for the record, frightening band name, makes me think of Steve Winwood). Both are, and this is the major factor, more than acceptable substitutes for a physical keyboard.

On the Storm 2, both the portrait and the landscape modes allowed me to type just as quickly as I would on a physical model, and the landscape mode, due to its size, I would say even more quickly. No errors. None.

The question of the day

Of course, this begs the question of the day: Why does the Droid have a slide-out, bulky physical keyboard along with its virtual offerings?

The Droid is supposed to rocket into the mobile space and launch Google, cement Verizon, and save Motorola, if not slay Apple. And the handset and the OS are sweet. This is the fruition of the T1, and everything that handset was missing, Droid… does.

So if you’re not ready to commit to a business phone but you still want to able to fake like you’re at the office, you can totally sidestep the corporate world and cozy up to Google, who even with its zillion-dollar revenues, $600 stock price, and tentacles into every facet of technology, just doesn’t feel like a corporation, this is the phone for you.

Now, while the corporate and evil (but Canadian, so it cancels out) Storm 2 made all its advancements in form, the uncorporate and don’t-be-evil Android 2.0 pushes ahead strictly in function.

And while the most noticeable (if not most useful) new feature on the Storm 2 is iPhonish, the most useful and noticeable new feature in Android is Blackberryish, the ability to view all your communication in one inbox.

Irony or not?

Ironic. Sort of.

While these handsets are game changers, the playing field is not yet level. The iPhone was a cultural shift, and the Storm 2 and Droid, when seen as opening up the market with options, are an equal shift. But remember that the iPhone crossed over from tech star into pop star.

Neither of these handsets will do that, but that’s not important. RIM’s earnings report ending November 30^th showed over 4 million new Blackberry accounts and over 10 million devices shipped. They’re selling Blackberrys. And Motorola is back from the brink, and if La Jolla is indeed a lower-end Android phone, then there’s crossover potential there as well.

Verizon made a huge dent with their “There’s a map for that” campaign, a shot to the head that Luke Wilson just can’t parry. In fact, AT&T’s reaction just made it worse, by keeping the fray going far longer than the ad itself would have. But remember, all Apple has to do is move to Verizon (or buy Sprint) to reset the bar.

They’ve already got a commercial out touting the ability to view email in-call. And it won’t be long before the iPhone can be your business phone, provided you’re in a hip business that doesn’t necessarily need to make phone calls.

I can’t help myself.

So now there are three: Apple, RIM, and Google. Microsoft has essentially thrown its hands up and the only way for Nokia to get back into the game is to release a handset called the BetaMax. But the Fins just don’t have that kind of sense of humor.

The game has changed for sure, and the winner is us, the consumer, as it opens up all kinds of new possibilities.

Joe Procopio is the founder of Intrepid Media, a technical and management consulting firm (www.intrepidmedia.net) that has spun out a publishing company/creative network (intrepidmedia.com) and digital incubator ExitEvent (exitevent.com). Note that he stayed away from any and all Star Wars jokes in describing the Droid. He can be reached at joe@intrepidmedia.net.