by Joe Procopio

I AM A FASHION DISASTER.

In full disclosure, I will admit that I am not hip, natty, slick, trendy, sensible, or even curiously aware when it comes to fashion sense. I do care, however, and that keeps me from making any monochrome, mismatch, or white slacks after Labor Day type blunders. I also have a cool wife, which allows me to know that Kenneth Cole is good and Tommy Hilfiger is bad.

I’m sorry if I’ve upset anyone with that last knock. But seriously, go home and change. Hilfiger isn’t even ironic anymore (see: Dockers).

I wear a lot of sport coats, which gives the impression that I’m a laid-back professional who can speak to the highest levels of management yet still understand the needs of the techies, but it really just provides me an excuse to do that cool reach-into-the-inner-pocket move to put on my sunglasses.

I also care enough to keep my eye out for trends that can elevate my uncanny ability to determine what works and what doesn’t in the corporate world. That being said, I can finally put two and two together and give you an edict you can rely on.

Keep your eye on the shorts people. They’re money.

When I entered the workforce in the mid-90s, business attire had just started trending back a little bit. Suits were still pretty much the norm, but forward-thinkers, especially in the tech sector, had started advertising business casual as a selling point in bringing on new talent. Back then, business casual strictly meant collared shirt and khakis, but it was liberating to know that every day could be casual Friday.

Fast-forward to the dot-com boom. Suddenly, dress requirements loosened up dramatically in concert with the dire need for technical talent at any cost. Thus began the shorts era, and I was a willing participant, when I could, in the summer, when I was heads down with code all day. I didn’t make the connection then, but for some reason, it seemed I got a lot more done on those days. I could work longer, with more focus and energy, and usually did so with a smile.

Then came the backlash, and while I’m with you on the free-expression, stick-it-to-the-man, my-thighs-are-awfully-sweaty vibe, I have to admit that even I got a wee bit tired of being reminded that boys lie, Weezer rules, and that if my network guy didn’t have to be stuck pulling down six figures to reboot servers a couple times a day, his tie-die made damn well sure it was clear that he would be off somewhere free-loving, turning up Freedom Rock, and probably frolfing.

It was a magical time.

Thus, for a brief but dark period we returned to the wool-blend age. The papers warned us repeatedly that the trends were shifting towards business formal, and all the employment advice columns – which we would love if they contained information like “IBM is hiring Java programmers so call them now” – were more about “For Pete’s sake! Wash the blue out of your hair and put on a suit for the interview!”

Which only went to show that the writers of said columns were nowhere near technology before or during the boom.

But then something wonderful happened.

Tech firms started making money again. After all the crazy ideas came and went, after the million dollar parties were shelved and the icons of the age went past ironic (see: sock puppet), appearances loosened up. Jeans are making a comeback. And in certain circles, mostly technology and again, mostly forward-thinking companies, so are shorts.

It’s 1997 all over again.

As I mentioned, I noticed this, but in a casual, hey-I-can-wear-shorts-now way. Of course, to pre-empt the concerns of the couple dozen folks I work with each day (and the cool wife), I will not wear shorts. At least not when I’m in the office.

But I also find myself hanging around with the shorts people quite often. And I find I’m taking their advice, valuing their opinions, and trusting them to get the most complex things done in the shortest amount of time.

Then another seemingly unrelated phenomenon caught my attention. One of my daughters, a precocious 16-month-old who inherited my type-A personality and is running with it, literally, has a pajama change ritual that I find fascinating. The process is arduous, and includes a de-shoeing, a de-socking, partial removal of dress, realization that I’ve forgotten to undo some snap or button mechanism, total removal of dress, and squirming out of a onesie.

Once we’re down to just the diaper, she is up and gone in one fluid motion. Bang. She is nearly impossible to catch as she moves faster and more direct than at any other time of day. She easily gets under, over, and around obstacles with more energy than any one human should have.

And she does it all while singing.

This is where the payoff is. I’m reminded of my days wearing shorts and coding at 150% utilization. There is something about the unfettered knee and shin that frees up the mind as well as the body. We’re nimbler, more comfortable, and more focused when our thighs can breathe.

Too much?

So now I make this a part of my portfolio of secret weapons. When something absolutely has to be done efficiently, crisply, and if you want the bonus of having it done with a smile and maybe even a song… bring in the shorts people.

—

Joe Procopio is the founder of Intrepid Media, a technical and management consulting firm (intrepidmedia.net) and publishing company and community (intrepidmedia.com). This column, along with several other previous columns and some ridiculously snarky new material, will be included in his forthcoming book about tech life and cube culture. He can be reached at joe@intrepidmedia.net.

 

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